Squat with a friend

Horatio Nelson

Bara sjukt att ni ser den här bilden på den här bloggen och dessutom läser undertexten till den. Horatio Nelson, i alla fall, en av Storbritanniens största nationalhjältar.

Du slänger någon från sida till sida. Gör en kvartsnelson. Denne någon råkar vara din käre lagkamrat. Och kvartsnelson något oväsentligt; ett brottargrepp. Ett grepp som enligt Wikipedia sägs komma från liknelsen mellan den engelske krigsherren Horatio Nelson och hans sätt att omringa fienden. Den här Horatio kan inte ha överlevt många krig. Jag menar, att han ens lyckades omringa en enda soldat med den där metoden är ytterst oklart.

I vilket fall är det friidrottsträning (närmare bestämt brottning i en friidrottshall) som äger rum för Västerås Idrottsklubbs herrlag varje tisdag. Även denna dag till ära. Friidrottarna i hallen (kvinnligt som manligt, på gott och ont) fastnar ofta med blicken på oss.

Jag tror att det är för att vi (läs: jag) är så pass läcker utseendemässigt. Muskulösa biceps. Samtidigt drar man händerna genom håret likt en David Beckham-kopia. Första parkett. Och så brottas man lite. Sen njuter man av stjärnglansen igen. Sedan, situps with a friend.

Problemet är att jag inte är lika säker på att jag skulle få samma gensvar av ensamidrottarna själva. Vilka idioter! De gör ju inte en övning rätt! Deras IQ-nivå kan inte ligga över min 100-metersbana. Alltså längden. I meter. I IQ alltså. 125..

Det vi i vilket fall kan komma överens om är att friidrottare är vältränade (fyspass dagligen, hur svårt kan det vara?). Killarna har bra konturer, speciellt armar (gay-varning på dem dock, killarna vill säga). Och tjejerna ska vi inte tala om. Fokus på alla Nelsons tappades gång efter annan. Förra veckan låg nog Agge Bergman i topp i sneglande. Därefter herr fystränare… Putte Dandanell slog också något getöga, hann jag skymta. Måste vara ärlig. Jag tjuvkikade inte en enda gång!!!

”Squat with a friend!”, ropade herr fystränare igen. ”Push up deluxe!” Det är uppenbart att de, fystränarna vill säga, inte är självlärda. Det var Buffalo War hit och det var Shake your ass dit. Helt korrekt, den sistnämnda är påhittad…

Jag blir lika taggad av ”Buffalokrig, kom igen!”, ”Benböj med vän!”, ”Armhävning special!”, ”Sitt upp med vän!” osv. Men det kanske bara är jag. The non-international man. Vi bor ju ändå i Sverige. Inte?

Sammanfattningsvis. Det var ett jobbigt pass.

(Inom de närmaste dagarna kommer en drink/hink-lista eller en dricks/tix-lista. Eller kallar vi den helt enkelt för prisa/(spisa, leasa, fisa, risa)-lista. Ni fattar; en hederlig hissa/dissa-lista i ett speciellt format och i ett för dagen populärt ämne i fotbolls-Västerås.)

About Patrik Östlund

Mål-Ove är en blogg som handlar om allt mellan mål-Ovar, dess mål o-var man kan hitta dem. Sammanfattningsvis, allt det fotbollsillegala som färdas mellan hjärncellerna på en herre vid namn Putte Östlund (även kallad Ove). Inför 2013 återkommen returdödare till Västerås IK Fotboll. Även sponsoransvarig för klubben. En hyvens kille helt enkelt.
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